6 Ways We Keep Ourselves Stuck With Food

1. BUFFERING out life by using FOOD  or LACK OF FOOD.

Looks like: using FOOD to NUMB out and as an EMOTIONAL BAND AID.

Fix it:  Seek counseling, find a coach, or someone that can help you find alternate ways to regulate your nervous system other than food.   This was and continues to be my biggest achilles heel, and is the struggle for most people. 

 

As my coach says, “People don’t eat chicken and broccoli when they’re stressed.” 

 

For me in my healing journey (and the many turns it’s taken), I’ve been in therapy, done EFT, EMDR, Brainspotting, Yoga, Breathwork, and many other modalities to heal my trauma and stress.

 

 But the biggest thing that helps people the most is willingness. Willingness to try something NEW. Willingness to fail. Willingness to succeed. Willingness to look like a fool and have the process be a bit clunky, but still show up for yourself. 

 

2. Indulging in FANTASY & MAGICAL THINKING 

Sounds like:  “When I’m skinny /fit /thinner/ in shape, then I will feel better, be successful, loved, desired, fill in the blank…”. 

 

Fix it:  Shift your belief system. 

 

The hard truth is that when you DO lose the excess weight, you will still have problems. They may be different problems, but you will still have them. 

 

I heard a very prominent psychologist say that most people tend to have 2 to 3 major problems at any time in their lives, no matter what.  

 

This means that when we fix that weight loss issue, our human brain will find another problem to become the focus. 

 

Maybe after losing 25  pounds, your new problem becomes the 6 pack abs you want or pushing your endurance to run a marathon. Or maybe it’s your career that has suddenly become unbearable and you need to find another means of income. Or it’s that unfulfilling  relationship you’ve been in too long. 

My point is, your brain will always find SOMETHING to focus on that it needs to fix. 

 

This is normal, it’s human nature. The point is to be aware of it and not buy into the magical thinking that when problem X is solved, all will be rainbows and unicorns. Not so. 

 

3. All-or-Nothing-Thinking (especially with food)

Feels like:  If you have a good food day,  you’re flying high. If you overindulge, you might as well eat the whole box of girl scout cookies. And that pint of ice cream. And order pizza for dinner. See how it snowballs…?

 

Fix it: This is important because I see ALOT of my clients struggle with this.  The quicker you can accept that it won’t be perfect, the quicker you’ll see progress and be able to stick with the plan. 

 

My client Sarah kept falling “off the wagon” as she put it. When I taught her  to reframe her belief around what she could expect of herself, her progress was like FIRE.  

 

Once she got her head around the fact that she could totally mess up for a meal and could get back on track for the next one, she was able to let go of the shame that drove her to further indulge and say “Screw it, I might as well eat the whole box”.

4. Using FOOD to add excitement to your day or life.

 

Looks like: Your existence feels lackluster devoid of joy and you use food to supplement these feelings.

 

Fix it: Here’s the truth: Dieting and weight loss can be BORING. After about 4 months people tend to get “bored”.  

 

But guess what? Oftentimes, success lies in the boring work. We get to our goals with the tiny things we do over and over every day.  It’s about our dedication to the process that drives the success and end result. 

 

Is meal prepping boring? To some people, yes.  But does consistent meal prepping lead to fat loss?  You bet your ass it does. 

 

Is going to the gym boring? Yup, sometimes it is.  Does that mean we shouldn’t go? NO! It just means we reframe our thinking. So instead of, “I hate this, this sucks.” It’s now, “This workout is moving me closer to my goal.” 

 

I’m not saying you have to eat the exact same thing every single day, but I am saying there is a fair amount of consistency that NEEDS to happen for excess weight loss to occur. 

5. Having Unrealistic Expectations (especially too soon)

 

 Sounds like:  “Why am I not a size 4 yet?! Why am I not losing weight quicker?!

 

Fix it:  Here’s the truth… you’ve been lied to. 

 

Everywhere you turn you see ads promoting FAST WEIGHT LOSS. Magazines at the grocery store, scrolling through Instagram, even at the gym! 

 

We are constantly accosted with ads promoting FANTASIES of quick fat loss.  Before and after photos of young men and women who were once overweight and now they are SHREDDED, complete with 6 pack abs. 

 

(Side note: women with 4 or 6 pack abs rarely have a menstruation cycle, which is a huge sign of poor health)

 

The truth is fat loss takes TIME.  Weight loss can happen quickly just from losing FLUID AND ELECTROLYTES, but true FAT LOSS can be a grind. 

 

Anyone that tells you you can lose X amount of weight within X amount of time is usually trying to sell you something. 

 

I always tell my clients, you might be able to do it in that time frame, or you might not.  We just don’t know. We don’t have all the information. 

 

Weight loss is RARELY a problem of not knowing how to eat or what to do in the gym. Weight loss is usually a mindset issue and tons of media and coaches overlook this issue. 

 

If it was that simple then most people would’ve lost the weight by now. 

 

But we get tired. We get discouraged. We doubt ourselves and our abilities and we say things like, “What’s the use anyway? I always screw up, so I might as well not try.”

 

If we want to lose fat, we have to play the long game. This is NOT a sprint. It’s a marathon. 

 

Like I said before, our goals lie in our ability to keep doing the boring work over and over and over and over…. Blah blah blah. 

 

If you ask any bodybuilder how he got ripped, he will tell you he just kept showing up to the gym and lifting weight over and over and over FOR YEARS. 

 

As someone who has lost over 50 pounds TWICE in  my life,  (yes, I know. It’s embarrassing:  TWICE!) I can tell you it took AWHILE. 

 

But I wasn’t even thinking about the weight loss. 

 

I was so focused on how good it felt to move my body and eat healthy and have energy. The fat loss was just a by-product of me fixing my mindset and coping mechanisms. 

 

6. Pulling the VICTIM CARD

Sounds like: “ It’s just how my life is….nobody understands… this ALWAYS happens to me….” 

Failure to take responsibility for your own HAPPINESS and OWNING YOUR OWN REALITY. 

 

The Fix:  Now, none of this is meant to be judgemental, it’s only meant to cultivate awareness around what truly drives our behaviors.  

 

If any of these resonate with you (as they do with me occasionally),  it’s important not to fall into self blame or shame.  

 

This is where it pays to have a coach that can hold you accountable and point out flaws in your thinking that are keeping you in a holding pattern.  

 

When I coach clients that have been perpetually stuck, I always find there’s an outdated unconscious belief system running the show.  

 

Shedding light on these patterns and ways of thinking is the first step to freedom with food and freedom in your body.